Broken Friendship
by yukiero
Summary: You always cry and I'm always there to comfort you. Sometimes I wonder if a day will come that you will also cry for me but then it will not. Before my heart totally broke I must end this relation, I must leave you crying there hoping I won't regret it. Goodbye. Still suck in it but please read.


**Author's Note:** Another story again. I dedicate this story to the person I really care about. Although I can never have that person…I believe I can tell you my secret in the afterlife.:))). Please read and review. Hope you like it.

You are so close yet so far… every time I try to catch up to you.. You'll just walk away faster and vanish, before I could even know that you are really there. Every time I lay my head on my pillow the image of you lying beside me would keep me awake and restless for hours. I curved into a ball remembering how I left you, crying, hurt and abandoned. And all over again I would be crushed into pieces as knives of regret and pain stab me.

I lay in my bed for hours wide awake, afraid to move a muscle not wanting to wake you up. I turned and look at your sleeping stature, your arm still gripping my shirt. I sniffed and I smelled tears, you cried yourself to sleep. I brushed your hair thinking It might give you comfort, not knowing what to do I kept telling you it's all right though I know how stupid it is.

This scenario won't surprise me after all it's like your routine. You cry, but you never tell me the reason behind your tears. You would just look at me and say it's not that important but being your best friend I always know the reason behind them. I envy those people who makes you cry this much, coz I know you would never cry for me. Rin, my best friend, my haven, the only one who can give me heart ease from all the worries I have in my life is sleeping beside me, gripping my shirt and cried because of someone else. For once I want to be the reason of that tears knowing you also care for someone like me.

You must have thought that I'm weak and fragile because of how much I cry. I won't blame you if you ever got tired of me and leave me someday, because the only thing I ever gave you is burden. I never considered your part because of my selfishness. Every day I live my life, always smiling with guys tailing my back but never you. I fall inlove, get a boyfriend, had a good time but just like they say nothing is forever, and in the end I would run back to you blinded with tears and a shattered heart. Seshy why can't it be you? You saw all sides of me yet you never left. Why can't I just fall inlove with you? You were never the reason of my tears and being yours is quite ideal but why? Why can't I fall inlove with my best friend? You never got mad at my tantrums or showed any annoyance at my demands or behaviour. You gave me nothing but good memories yet in exchange all I gave is a burden.

But nothing last forever… I know someday you will leave me too.. like all of them.

You got your boyfriends and I got nothing, nothing but myself to look after to. I can't say I have you coz I don't own you and you always belong to someone else. I know this feeling is unrequited and to have you is next to impossible so the only thing I can do is to be there and offer you my shoulder for comfort even though I don't know how to. If only I can find a way to forget you and everything related to you I might know how to be happy. Why does it have to be you? Why do I have to fall inlove with my best friend?

The night you came to me soaked with tears was the day I decided to finally let go. Being entangled in this hopeless unrequited love would get me nowhere so I chose not to care about you anymore. That moment I offered you nothing, not my shoulder for you to cry on, not my bed for you to rest your beaten heart, no more comforts coming from me only coldness and desertion. I left you there battered under the cold rain. I told you I had enough of your schemes and want nothing to do with you anymore. You just stood there saying nothing, your eyes swollen. I finally let go of you but it also crushed my heart into pieces. That night changed my entire life, the moment I turned my back from you, the only thing that kept me going.

"_I wish I'd forget you and everything, and I'm gonna make it happen."_ My last words to you.

Another broken heart, but this time the pain was so intolerable and instantly I came to you. That night the sky seems to be crying with me. I knocked at your door and I looked forward in seeing your stricken worried face looking at me, but the door didn't open and you didn't appear. A voice came from behind me. I turned around and found you, soaked by the rain, you look different, and you felt different. I searched for your eyes but they were hidden beneath your silver hair. I started to speak but then your cold voice put me into a stop. Somehow, that moment you are no longer the Seshy I used to know. You looked at me as if to assess me and smirked knowingly. That smirked sent chills to me and the thing you said only made the rain felt like needles pricking my skin. I gaped at you after hearing what you said. I know that someday you would tell me that but why does it have to be today when I really need you. You didn't wait for my answer you just walked away. That was the first time when my tears weren't dried by your comforts and warmth and I just stood there beaten by the rain staring at your fading figure after you told me that this friendship is over. Your want forget me, everything about us.

Few days after that night your father called me. His voice was trembling and I don't know why my heart suddenly starting beating faster. I dropped the phone in the floor because of what he said, I want to cry but no tears came out. I grabbed my car keys and left. As I arrived at your house I found your dad pacing in the living room with his arms crossed over his chest. When he realized I'm there, he looked at me and I can see pain, and anxiousness radiating from his eyes. My knees gave way and I landed at the cold wooden floor. Images started flashing inside my head and my eyes became hazy as pent- up tears started to build up.

_Do I have to lose you too?_

It's been five month after the accident and I was discharged from the hospital. I still got a bandage in my head and am still recuperating. On the first day of fall I was taking a walk near a park with my dog named ryuu. I was staring at the leaves of the sakura trees leaving the branches gently cradled by the wind placing them on the ground as a girl with long dark brown hair stopped and looked at me. I blinked twice and I started to wonder why she keeps staring at me. I asked her if there's something wrong then she just looked at me with confusion and disbelief. When she didn't answer I turned and left.

I saw him walking with his dog, a bandage still wrapped on his head. But you don't know me. I'm no one to you now. You lost your memories and me along with it. You got what you want, to forget me, and this friendship while I lost something precious. You.

I just woke up from my nap under a tree near the park when I discovered ryuu is no longer beside me. I got up and looked for him. Panic begins to build up as 30 minutes passed and I still couldn't find him. Being new to this town and having my memory lost would not be a good thing for me.

I ran further away from the park near a lake when I found him playing fetch with a person. I walked closer towards them. I heard soft giggles mixed with laughter coming from a woman. Then I realized that she's the girl who was staring at me under the sakura trees few days back. Ryuu barked out of delight as he saw me. The girl stopped and looked at me in wonder.

There you are. You look so strange but not in an odd way. I smiled as you walked towards me.

_Are you new here? _

_You can tell? I just moved here few days ago._

_Me too. Although I lived here before but since I lost my memory because of an accident I end up starting at square one. _

_I'm sorry to hear that._

_I'm Seshumaru._

_Rin._

While shaking my hand you said that this is a start of a good friendship. I just smiled at you. This time I won't let to be just friends anymore. I lost you as a friend once so this time it'll be different. This time when I cry it will be because of you. But I wish it won't happen.

**Author's Note:** Thanks for reading. Until then.


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